Understanding the Borderline Mother

For the month of April, I ended up taking my focus off of loosing weight and put it on becoming more whole as an individual. I hit a period in my weight loss journey where my self-talk was getting in the way of meeting my goals. I thought to myself, I have got to handle this emotional junk so I can be free. Once and for all!"

As result, I've been reading the book, "Understanding the Borderline Mother." (I read a book last year called "Stop Walking on Eggshells." It helped me realize my Mom has Borderline Personality Disorder - BPD.) It's been an emotional few weeks, but I'm in a much healthier state (emotionally and mentally) than I have ever been. I've finally let my Mom off the hook. She is clearly mentally ill. She was emotionally, spiritually and physically abusive to us when we were children. Emotionally and spiritually she still is. My mother doesn't know how to be any other way. But I'm not a child anymore. I get to set my own limits. My own boundaries. And for me, that means having extremely limited contact with my mother. I forgive her, but I'm also letting her "out to pasture" to live out her days away from me. She 63 and can do with her life what she wants. I've been making this change forseveral years, but this book finally put the pieces of understanding together. I'm ready to cut the cord completely and walk away.

I feel love, hope and light in areas of my heart and soul that have never felt love, hope and light. I didn't know those places existed within me.

It feels good.

So for me, this mothers day marks an important milestone. I own my own future. No strings from my mother attached. This also frees me up to be a better Mom for my kids and a better wife to my husband.

Ultimately, my husband and Savoir, Jesus Christ are the two most influential people in helping me become healthier. They love me unconditionally which gives me courage to be my best self.

I'm so very thankful!