Beware of the "Tit Terrorists!"

It's true that our breast-feeding adventure started out pretty well. But after the first four weeks it was a struggle. I don't know if it is something I was eating but Joseph just would not stay "hooked on." Not only that, but he would be sucking as hard as he could as he pulled off. Ouch! Double ouch!!!! He would cry when I was trying to feed him and he would cry if I took him off. I knew he hadn’t eaten enough to be full; he had to be hungry! One night, in complete desperation I tried the formula that the hospital sent us home with. It was a miracle! It worked. He fell asleep with a full tummy slept for hours, which was another miracle. Slowly, over a few days I have just gave in. The truth is I realized I had begun resenting Joseph because I was frustrated with feeding him. I finally made the decision to switch to bottle-feeding when I realized that. It scared me. Now I feel like I am enjoying his company more than I ever have. I have bonded with Joseph more now than I did when I was breast-feeding him.

This past week I have been re-reading, "Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay; and Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom," by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor. This book is funny, has my kind of humor, and has helped me not take motherhood - and myself - too seriously. (Warning: there is some bad language in the book.) Anyway, I thought I would add some of my favorite excerpts from the book relating to breast-feeding/bottle-feeding. (No bad language is contained in this excerpt.) Enjoy!

"If I hear 'breast is better' one more time, I swear I'm going to strangle myself with a forty-five-dollar nursing bra. When it comes to your decision on whether or not to breast-feed your baby, way too many people have a strong opinion about what goes on behind your blouse. Some women have even taken to the streets, calling themselves 'lacttivists,' to get every woman on the breast-feeding train and to fight for the rights of breast-feeding women. This can be very irritating, to say the least. Whether you breast-feed or not, you need to be prepared to encounter the Tit Terrorists.

And just know that you will be under surveillance before you’ve even given birth.

I had no idea when I got knocked up that anyone and everyone would feel the need to weight in on the tit topic, even in inappropriate places. I’ve never been one for making a new best friend in the ladies’ room, so I was a bit put off when a woman I’d not so much as passed toilet paper to under the stall noticed my obviously pregnant belly and asked me point-blank whether I planned to breast-feed. Not knowing at the time that this was a political hot button, I figured she was simply making unwanted conversation. I innocently answered, ‘I don’t know.’

She pounced. ‘You don’t know? What do you mean you don’t know? You absolutely have to breast-feed. It’s the best thing for you child! If you don’t do it, you are robbing your precious baby of the most natural thing in the world.’ It’s like why bother asking – as if there is an option? You’re instantly branded as friend of foe.

She continued lecturing me that not breast-feeding compromises your baby’s immune system, causes frequent ear infections, practically ensures obesity, and so on…and so and on. Finally I had to interrupt. ‘Hang on. I didn’t mean I don’t’ know if I’m going to breast-feed. I meant I don’t know if I’m keeping the baby.” As you probably guessed, that’s quite the conversation stopper.”

P.S. Stefanie is married, got pregnant on purpose and goes on to say that she supports women who breast-feed and hopes that they are successful in their endeavor. But it doesn’t work for some women. I didn’t want you to think she is against breast-feeding.